The imagination is a beautiful and wickedly untamable thing. We can all recall times as children when we would glide into a world of magic and infinite wonders that could take us away from our average realities or as you so often hear "real life." As we grow, even as teenagers and adults, we find ourselves imagining and pretending things about our world that are or are not true. Unfortunately, there are some things in "real life" that we cannot imagine away or pretend are not a part of our "real life" no matter how wishful of a thinker we may be.
Sixth grade I began to have mood swings and deep depression that I hated and no matter what I did I couldn't seem to relieve myself from the mental pain I was feeling; I didn't know how to deal with it. In the seventh grade it seemed to get worse until finally we consulted a doctor and was put on anti-depressants. It wasn't until eighth grade I was finally diagnosed with a bipolar disorder (a mental disease) which entails that my moods can shift very quickly from a very high to a very low state of mind with my emotions at any given time. Medication and theraputic methods to help relieve stress have aided in 'mellowing out' my bipolar disorder and allowed me to live and cope with it much easier than I could without those things. My mental disorder has been very tricky to deal with especially being diagnosed with it at such a young age. For years I hated feeling like I had a label slapped on my forehead for everyone to see and couldn't stand feeling so rotten most of my time with the occasional spike of hyper energy. I wondered why I had a mental disorder and what I had done wrong to deserve it and when looking at my peers around me wondered how I could fix it. I spent years trying to wish away what I now call my "bipolar beast" and to allow me to act like everyone else appeared to be like. It took me quite a while to face the fact that my mental illness was to be a part of me for the rest of my life and that it was a real part in my "real life."
I've created this blog to speak out about my opinions and thoughts concerning mental illnesses and my own person struggles living with one. There's nothing that annoys me more than people telling me they don't believe in mental disorders and that it's just laziness or lack of excersize and healthy eating styles due to how I'm feeling. Just like your body can get ill with cancer, the flu, or strept throat your mind can get sick. Your mind is a part of your body, isn't it? Mental illnesses are a part of real life; a tremendously difficult part of real life. My name is Abby Jane, and this blog was created for my bipolar beast.
